Dave Loves Elizabeth

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She is woman, hear me snore

May 02, 2006

I received many emails about my snoring problem, with all kinds of advice. The most common suggestion was Breathe Right strips. They might work for mild snorers--but they didn't work for me.

Like a lot of people, I snore when I'm on my back. So if I could force myself to sleep on my side, my snoring should decrease. My doctor told me that one technique for doing this is to sew a tennis ball to the back of my pajama top.

So I tried it. Unfortunately, the tennis ball didn't stop me...Elizabeth said that I just kept sleeping on my back.

"Okay, I'll just try a bigger ball."

So we taped a softball to my back. Unfortunately the outcome was the same: I was oblivious to the softball and kept turning onto my back and snoring.

Now we (mainly Elizabeth) are getting desperate. So we took it to the next level and fastened a soccer ball to my back with duct tape.

Me and my friend Wilson
He shoots, he snores

Is it me, or is this bed lumpy?
A snore loser

The result? It may be hard to believe, but I'm still snoring. How is that possible? Well, my body apparently yearns to lay on its back, and so I end up sleeping at a 45 degree angle...still a snoring beauty.

The next step? I'm investigating surgery to put an end to this snore war.


  1. Well, I already sent you my pharmaceutical suggestion, where your wife buys the pills and then shoves them up your nose: http://www.uclick.com/client/zzz/cl/2006/04/21/

    A friend suggests that you just need to take the soccer ball strategy to the next level--Elizabeth needs to kick it every hour or so. Perhaps set up goalposts across the bedroom?

  2. You may want to investigate sleep apnea. For the longest time, I thought I was just a heavy snorer. But, when I went through a sleep study, I found out that I was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep per night.

    By using a CPAP device, I was able to correct it and sleep through the night without snoring.

  3. Dave, I agree with the above comment. You must spend a night at a sleep clinic so that apnea can be ruled out. Surgery (of the soft palette) only has a 50% success rate and is expensive.

    On the other hand, if you have apnea, it can be cured by the CPAP device mentioned above. Since apnea can be fatal, consider yourself lucky to have the opportunity to find out now.


  4. When he starts snoring, get a glass of water, tip it on his head and then pretend you're asleep. it'll wake him up and hopefully you can get back to sleep before him so the snoring doesnt bother you. Either way, it'll be fun :) Alternatively, buy a harmonica/flute/trombone, and tape it to his mouth and drift off to sleep to the blissful tunes. :)

  5. Loved reading through your wedding proposal site (wow x1K). Just amazing (as about 100 people have already commented). If I hadn't met you, I'd have to wonder if this was real, it's so awesome!

    My mom and aunt also snore very loudly. I hope you get this sorted out. Unfortunately I have no suggestions for you.

    Will be eagerly reading any more updates to this blog when they pop up in the RSS feed...

  6. Found your site on the Webby Awards page.

    Anyway, just go to the moon!


  7. Try some HOT Chinese mustard on a cracker (a little goes a long way). It solved not only my problem, but my wife's problem as well. No more snoring for us! No more asthma either!

  8. Hi, Dave! Loved your whole site! Regarding your snoring issue; the only REAL (not wive's tales) cure is the laser surgery of the uvula (the soft palate). (Providing you don't have sleep apnea, which was already mentioned.) Very simply, what causes snoring is air causing the uvula to vibrate very quickly. You have laser surgery (completely outpatient), & they laser off a portion of the uvula, so obviously there is no noise, as there is no uvula to vibrate back & forth. My husband had the surgery, & he stopped snoring immediately (it was about $3,000 to $4,000). Now, if someone gains weight after the surgery, he may snore again; but, if he loses it, the snoring should stop. (I don't believe it's just a 50% success rate-the doctor that did it used to advertise on KFI in your area-I don't remember who it is, because it's been about 10 years-if you contact KFI-640 AM Radio, though, they should be able to tell you the name of the place that does it.) They do a lot of the surgeries, & they wouldn't be in business if they only had a 50% success rate! The tennis ball, the Breathe Right strips, etc... are just "band-aids" (if they work at all!)-they're not "permanent" - the laser surgery is! Happy sleeping! Dawn :)

  9. I hate to say, but my husband has tried everything except the surgery...which unless it becomes phyisically necessary, I refuse to let him do. I just wear earplugs. It's wierd at first, but I think out of all the options, it's the most comfortable solution between the two of us and I am able to sleep again.

    Very cute site. Love to see romantics!

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